你是否有過明明和朋友約好見面，對方卻在最後一刻臨時取消的經歷？是什麼促使人們對已經約定好的社交活動改變心意？本文探討科技發展和人格特質對人們在社交活動中爽約的影響。
詞匯：socialising 社交
Do you have a friend who happily agrees to your plans, only to disappear when the time eventually comes? Maybe they flake on you and cancel last minute, or just don’t tell you and then ghost you completely. Or just maybe, it’s you that sometimes lets people down. What lies behind this reluctance to keep to engagements?
It could be our personality traits. According to psychology professor Richard Koestner, less conscientious or agreeable people tend to have less concern for others and are more likely to overbook themselves socially. While this can be due to bad time management, it can also be because people are afraid of confrontation and saying no to their friends, so end up agreeing to things that they don’t really want to do.
Technology could be another factor behind people’s willingness to back out of social commitments. Firstly, being able to cancel plans with a simple text message or pressing a ‘not attending’ button on an invitation, rather than doing it face-to-face or through an awkward phone call, is a much more frictionless way to say you have changed your mind. On top of this, people have become used to the instant gratification offered by social media and streaming platforms. Does this make real-life interaction seem mundane and arduous by comparison? Could it be generational? A 2017 study found that 45% of American millennials saw nothing wrong with withdrawing from social arrangements. Older generations were less likely to pull out of events that they had been invited to.
Whatever lies behind it, psychologists have advice for us. Kurt Gray from the University of North Carolina recommends a simple phone call to reinforce human connection. Andrea Bonior from Georgetown University tells us to gently let our friends know that being let down disrupts us and makes us feel less valued. Caution is important though. Life coach Kira Asatryan reminds us that sometime people withdraw, not out of disrespect, but because they themselves feel anxious, stressed or sad.
詞匯表
flake on someone 放棄遵守與某人的約定
last minute 最後一刻
ghost 突然消失，不再聯系（某人）
keep to 遵守，堅持
engagement 約定，約會
personality trait 人格特質
conscientious 認真自覺的
agreeable 隨和的
overbook 做出過多的約定
time management 時間管理
confrontation 爭執，沖突
back out 食言，變卦
social commitment 社交活動
frictionless 沒有摩擦的，順暢的
instant gratification 即時滿足
mundane 平平無奇的，稀松平常的
arduous 艱難的，費力的
generational 代際的，代與代之間的
withdraw 放棄，退出
human connection 人與人之間的聯系
測驗與練習
1. 閱讀課文並回答問題。
1. What kind of personality can lead people to be more likely to let others down?
2. Why do people sometimes agree to things that they don’t really want to do?
3. True or False? It is easier to turn someone down face to face than via text message.
4. What percentage of American millennials didn’t think withdrawing from arrangements was wrong?
5. What can a phone call reinforce?
2. 選擇意思恰當的單詞或詞組來完成下列句子。
1. He’s very reliable – he’d never _______ on me.
mundane flake ghost confrontation
2. People who are _______ respect others’ time.
frictionless arduous generational conscientious
3. Smartphones have made us expect _______.
personality traits human connection instant gratification social commitment
4. People will get annoyed if you change your plans _______.
last minute mundane frictionless arduous
5. Openness and agreeableness are both _______.
engagements instant gratification personality traits social commitments
答案
1. 閱讀課文並回答問題。
1. What kind of personalities can lead people to be more likely to let others down?
Less conscientious or agreeable people tend to have less concern for others and are more likely to overbook themselves socially.
2. Why do people sometimes agree to things that they don’t really want to do?
Some people are afraid of confrontation and saying no to their friends.
3. True or False? It is easier to turn someone down face to face than via text message.
False. Cancelling plans with a text message, rather than an awkward phone call is a much more frictionless way to say you have changed your mind.
4. What percentage of American millennials didn’t think withdrawing from arrangements was wrong?
A 2017 study found that 45% of American Millennials surveyed saw nothing wrong with withdrawing from social arrangements.
5. What can a phone call reinforce?
Kurt Gray from the University of North Carolina recommends a simple phone call to reinforce human connection.
2. 選擇意思恰當的單詞或詞組來完成下列句子。
1. He’s very reliable – he’d never flake on me.
2. People who are conscientious respect others’ time.
3. Smartphones have made us expect instant gratification.
4. People will get annoyed if you change your plans last minute.
5. Openness and agreeableness are both personality traits.
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